Talking to a therapist will help to find ways to make changes in your life. It is likely the best action to undertake for a full recovery. Although loneliness is considered as a pathology per se, no medicines have a direct action on it, as an antidepressant would have on depression. There is no “anti-loneliness” in the pharmacopeia. However, it does not mean it can’t be treated. It is also a big concern for public health [1]. Alternative approaches exist. They mainly focus on fixing the social aspect that drives people to loneliness [2].

Reconnecting With people

To improve overall condition, lonely individuals would need to work in-depth on their way of thinking and this daily. Longterm practice will contribute to re-wire the brain and diminish the uncomfortable feeling of loneliness.

A lonely person finds itself isolated from the outside world. This isolation is usually the result of misreading situations that push the suffering person to exclude itself. Therefore, approaches that would help reconnect with the surroundings appear to be a good starting point.

Basics of Being Social

In order to be less socially awkward, a certain level of socialization can be taught by:

Engaging in conversation,
Speaking on the phone,
Sending and receiving compliments,
Being comfortable with periods of silence,
And communicating positively.

How to Fix Maladaptive Thinking

An important intervention to reduce loneliness is to change maladaptive thinking. As I mentioned early on in this article, lonely people tend to think the worst in social situations. They are very good at picking up only on the negative details, which, in return, justifies them to run away from that person. A self-protective behavior that is leading to involuntary seclusion.

In this scenario, the therapy consists of teaching how to identify negative thoughts when they occur. Once recognized, the idea is to question the negative thoughts instead of taking it for granted. The “why?” is an important question. “Is it all bad?” is another one. It enables us to look at things from a different perspective, from the perspective of others, which triggers a more benign interpretation of their actions.

The cure for chronic loneliness lies in stopping the negative cycle of thinking that created it in the first place.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness training has been shown to reduce loneliness and increase social contacts [3]. It prevents the mind from racing — a common symptom for many mental illnesses. It brings the mind back to the present moment. It is a fantastic tool to get your happiness back.

Steps toward Happiness

Here are a few steps to start your mindfulness journey:

Seat down and put your hands on your knees. Try to maintain a straight back by pulling your head up.
Close your eyes.
Now focus on your breathing. Inhale slowing, then exhale slowly and a few seconds longer than you inhaled. Repeat this for 2 minutes.
Now focus on the room or the place you are sitting in. Keep your eyes closed and mentally visualize what is in the room. Is there a chair? Or a table? What color is it? Is there painting on the wall? Who is the artist? And what is the scene depicted on it? Describe all of it the way you remember it.
Once done, bring your attention back to your breathing. Repeat the sequence of inhale/exhale for two more minutes.
Now, there are certainly people living around you. Listen to them. Are they making noise? Are they talking? What type of sounds are there? Can you discern what they are talking about? Perhaps the neighbor is cooking. Remember the delicious odor of cookies.
Then bring your attention back to your breathing. Slowing open your eye and reconnect with reality.

Peace Of Mind

Not sure if you noticed, but during this session, you did not think at all about any potential harm or negativity as you usually do. Your focus was on the present moment. You just opened your mind to other people’s daily lives. You can be one of these persons.

Indeed, mindfulness sessions can be performed anywhere. As a matter of fact, why don’t you take a walk outside? Go to the park and find a bench or seat on the grass. These are perfect locations for refocusing. Additionally, it allows you to share space with other people and actively focus on all your senses. Perhaps it will remind you that you’re not alone.

Mindfulness is an essential tool in today’s society, where everything goes extremely fast. Calming your racing mind is a crucial component to be happy again. Living and enjoying life requires to be in the moment. I genuinely believe that positivity helps to reach a state of happiness.

The following video is an enlightening TED talk by Andy Puddicombe, a mindfulness expert. Ten minutes a day is not much, you’ll see.

References

[1] Leigh-Hunt, N., Bagguley, D., Bash, K., Turner, V., Turnbull, S., Valtorta, N., & Caan, W. (2017). An overview of systematic reviews on the public health consequences of social isolation and loneliness. Public health, 152, 157–171.

[2] Masi, C. M., Chen, H. Y., Hawkley, L. C., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2011). A meta-analysis of interventions to reduce loneliness. Personality and social psychology review: an official journal of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, Inc, 15(3), 219–266.

[3] Lindsay, E. K., Young, S., Brown, K. W., Smyth, J. M., & Creswell, J. D. (2019). Mindfulness training reduces loneliness and increases social contact in a randomized controlled trial. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, 116(9), 3488–3493.

How To Be Happy Again